On The Silly Side by Jimmy Del Ponte

(The opinions and views expressed in the commentaries of The Somerville News belong solely to the authors of those commentaries and do not reflect the views or opinions of The Somerville News, its staff or publishers.)

If you have to drive through Somerville in order to get to work, or drop the kids off at school, or to make a run to the store, it is usually an adventure to say the least.

Thankfully most of our streets are in excellent condition with functioning traffic lights to make things a little easier. I have been driving in Somerville since 1970, and I have lots of shortcuts and time saving routes that I have perfected over the years. There are, however, some things that I cannot seem to let go of while behind the wheel.

Whether I am driving in Somerville or St. Petersburg Florida, if I am driving at the posted speed limit, I will not drive faster because someone is tailgating me. As a matter of fact, I may just drive a little slower just for spite. I know it’s wrong, and believe me, I have become a very courteous driver over the years but there is a limit.

Why do some drivers refuse to use their turn signals? If they are broken, go to Auto Zone and dish out a couple of bucks and replace the bulb. How can we expect to be mind readers? And on the other hand, why can’t drivers shut off their signals instead of leaving them on miles after their turn has come and gone?

I have one of those inexpensive earphone attachments so I can talk and drive hands free. It ticks me off to see people coming around the rotary at Powder House on two wheels, while holding their phone up to their ear!

And I have said this again and again, that you cannot curse out drivers in Somerville because eight out of 10 times it will be someone you know.

And isn’t it a riot how every driver, no matter where they come from, thinks they are the best driver on the road? I have news for you…we all stink at driving. No one is perfect.

Someone accused me of becoming a grouchy old man when I complain about joggers running toward you in traffic, in the rain at night. For God’s sake, don’t they understand that it’s hard enough to drive in the rain and at night in the first place without having human beings coming at you. We have virtually only inches between our car and the parked cars in the first place.

And by the way…just how boney and skinny do these people intend to become? I really think they are carrying it too far. Eat something for God’s sake! Go into Lyndell’s and grab a mocha cake. (Get two…. they have shrunk over the years !) And by the way, we have a lovely bike and pedestrian path  that you may want to check out.

I have compiled a list of things people hate about driving in the city and here they are:

-Drivers who don’t thank you for letting them cut in front of them in traffic.

-Drivers who EXPECT a thank you for letting them cut in front of you in traffic.

-Smoking, texting, eating, holding a cell phone to your ear and putting on make-up behind the wheel.

-The Powder House Rotary.

-Drivers refuse to stop at crosswalks to let pedestrians cross safely. They should be arrested.

-Drivers who mock the posted speed limit and drive like maniacs.

– Idiots who beep at you the second the light turns green. It only makes most people drive extra slow.

-Beepers in general. Get off your butt and ring the doorbell.

-An obvious misuse of handicap placards

– I’m waiting to pull into your parking spot in Davis Square  and you sit there with your car running for 10 minutes. MOVE !

– Those people with the big bass pounding stereos in the trunk of their little late model economy cars, that you can hear a mile away. When they are close, it makes your fillings rattle. I wouldn’t mind so much if they were blasting Zeppelin or Van Halen.

-Bicyclists should try to stay out of the way of cars, and drivers should definitely be more courteous to cyclists.

It’s only my opinion, as a driver who has been out there on the roads for 40 years, that we all need to slow down and be more thoughtful. For me to use a whole week’s worth of newspaper space shows that I think the problem is a big one.

I am guilty of a lot of the things I mentioned and am trying to get an earlier start, take a deep breath, and stop treating driving like it is a video game.

Remember that our children and our seniors are out there trying to cross the streets, so please slow down and pay attention.

One more thing. Do not leave any valuables in your car when you go to the gym. There are thieves lurking in the parking lots waiting for you to go in so they can break into your car. Unfortunately one of my loved ones was recently a victim. Beware!