Yesterday
was my birthday, but I am writing this on Monday night. So tomorrow is
actually my birthday. I hope I had fun. I also hope I survived, or this
article is posthumous, or post humorless, or something like that. I
can't believe I will celebrate birthday number 56.

My birthday
used to be an excuse to over-celebrate and make an ass of myself. One
year my good friend planned a surprise party for me. A lot of people
were waiting at his house, and his girlfriend was supposed to bring me
over later. Neither of us ever made it to the party. Me and my friends'
girlfriend decided to have our own party. I blamed it on the booze.
Thankfully I don't partake anymore. Now when I make an ass of myself, I
have nothing to blame it on.

When we were kids, mom would make
a Betty Crocker cake and a few friends and cousins would sit at the
kitchen table and party hearty with cone shaped hats on. Remember the
pain in the neck you got when those elastics snapped? I have some
photos up on my Facebook page of some of those pre-1960 parties. When
mom made the cake, I used to love to lick the beater blades. It was
more enjoyable when the beater was off. There would be the smell of
birthday candle smoke in the kitchen, and Winston cigarettes in the
parlor. I remember some of the cool stuff I got for my birthday. One
year I got a Mr. Machine – it was a walking, six or seven inch robot
whose gears were visible. It made weird sounds as it walked into walls.
It was made by Ideal. They now fetch at least a hundred bucks on eBay.
Another year, I got a Mattel Fanner Fifty cowboy pistol that used
"greenie stick-em caps." I still have that toy gun, and it's a good
eBay item also.

If I could have the perfect fantasy birthday
it would be something like this – I would pick up Michelle Pfeiffer in
my 1992 Camaro Convertible (that I had to trade in when the kids came
along). We would drive around Somerville honking the horn so everyone
would see me with her. We would have lunch at the Venice Café and go to
Friendly's on Cedar and Highland and share a sundae. Then I would do a
set at the Embassy Lounge with my band so I could show off in front of
Michelle. Okay, Earth to Jimmy, come back to reality.

My cell
phone rang on Sunday and it was my aunt Molly (my mother's sister) who
is a spry 94 years old. She said she would have mailed my card, but she
walked and walked and couldn't find a mailbox. For some reason there
are now fewer mailboxes in the Somerville Avenue area these days. She
told me she missed me and I told her I missed her, so I headed over to
her house. She had a nice religious card for me and a very thoughtful
gift. We had a nice little visit. I also saw my cousins Tom and Bonnie
and Mike who live upstairs from auntie. It was great seeing them,
because we don't get together as much as we would like to. I also got a
card from my aunt Olga. That one made me teary. The front read "You
stole my heart as a little guy, you've won my admiration as a man." The
message on the inside said, "You'll always be the nephew I love like a
son." I feel the same way about her. My cousin Carol sent me a card
that made me laugh like a nut. It said "One of us remembered your
birthday…and the other one just kinda lives in the house and doesn't
know what's going on." Too funny! I am so lucky to have my aunts and
cousins (and one uncle left) in my life. Very, very lucky.

I
will start my birthday at 9am with the kids from Project STAR. We are
rehearsing my original mini-musical, "Back In The 'Ville." Don't forget
(free plug) to come on Wednesday August 12th at 7pm in the Somerville
High School auditorium. It's free and it's going to be great! A special
thanks to the many friends who wished me happy birthday on Facebook.

Tennessee
Ernie Ford sang "16 tons and what do you get, another year older and
deeper in debt." I don't care about my ever-increasing debt, I just
care about staying here and having as many birthdays as possible. My
awesomely, wonderful Sunsetters will perform in front of my house
(yesterday) and then we will have a party.

I am pretty healthy,
my kids are great, and I love what I am doing so that's all the gift I
need. I wish my parents, brother and sister were here to celebrate with
me, but Michelle Pfeiffer will have to do.