(The opinions and views expressed in the commentaries and letters to the Editor of The Somerville Times belong solely to the authors and do not reflect the views or opinions of The Somerville Times, its staff or publishers)

Imagine, you’ve just received an autism diagnosis for your child.

The panic sets in. What kind of life will they have? Is it my fault? What can I do? Boom- your life has changed! You forget who your child is without this label. You feel like you’re drowning.

Autism is NOT a progressive disorder. Your child does not get “worse.” They are still the child they were a day ago, before their diagnosis. The child that holds your heart. The one whose laugh can brighten your day. It’s time to learn what to do and what they need. Autism diagnosis is different for every person. It is a spectrum after all. Remember this. Autism is not “one size fits all or most”.

Appointments, Parent teaching sessions, ABA, and social groups all while still holding yourself together. Celebrating that first word, that “delayed to others” milestone. Seeing and being part of your child developing. Yes, I am doing right by my child! Buying everything that says “sensory” on Amazon. Explaining at restaurants that my child is autistic. This is our life, but looking back I wouldn’t change this journey for anything.

You trust the professionals that are helping your child as they must have your child’s best interests in mind. RIGHT??

School starts! They tell you first your child will go to the Capuano, and then the AIM program at Winter Hill, as they are the BEST schools for your child. No one tells you why- but again, they have your child’s best interests in mind….

COVID! Your child is home. They are remote learning now. At the beginning it wasn’t structured. Your child is dysregulated and you are now a teacher?! The panic that you felt before is back, but stronger. You survive remote Kindergarten and first grade. You try to have your child repeat the grade as again you feel that they need a real teacher and the social aspect of school that you could not provide during remote times. They tell you that your child is “sooo smart and would be bored.”

2nd grade is in person! Yay! First real year at the Winter Hill! This is going to be good now, right? IEP Meetings… talking about what your child needs, and trusting that what they say is what the IEP says. You sign.

Winter HIll has now broken. The Kids are home again! Dysregulated. Panic. The AIM program is moved to the Edgerly. Numerous bumps in the road- none of them ADA accessible- but we survived them. Next 2 years, your child gets into a routine. They are regulated. They have comfort people at their school.

March 2026 you receive a written notice, “Your child has to go to a different school next year, across town, and will be taking buses for the first time. Everything is changing.” Why? Who decided this? How did they decide this? Welcome back to the panic, stress, and fear of dysregulation.

You go to a meeting hoping for clarification, and maybe, for getting help from the school system. Instead, you are met with a stone wall that has no room for compassion for you. There is no clarity. There is no data. There is no compassion. The more you learn, the more you realize the professionals seem more wrapped up in politics than what’s best for your child. Maybe your faith was misplaced.

My story may not match perfectly to every parent who has a special needs child in AIM here in Somerville, but it needs to be said:

Who has decided to separate the kids from both teachers and peers that a lot of them have had since the first school? It wasn’t the full IEP team. Do they understand Autism? These kids NEED familiarity and routine.

Parents, you all are doing amazing! SPS can you please help on your end? Maybe bring some of that “Family Engagement” to the table? You know the one- the table that’s supposed to include the seats families that are supposed to have as part of their child’s IEP Team.

This is a parent’s plea for understanding, transparency, and participation in their disabled child’s education. This is a plea that should not have to be made.

If you’re an AIM family feeling this way too, please make your voice heard here:

— Somerville Parent