Life in the Ville by Jimmy Del Ponte

Man, have times changed. My life has been so planned and regimented ‘lo these past 15 years. Were you as crazy as I was? I know some of you were, but don’t worry, I won’t print your names. We always had fun, but it was always on the edge. It couldn’t be a normal, calm existence.

It was hectic, rushed, and we lived as if it were our last days on earth. I have been in the ‘Ville for most of my life, except for a few jaunts to some pretty far-out places. I always returned to Somerville, like a baby bird to its nest. Or something like that.

Back in the early 80s, I was going out with a lovely lady from the ‘Ville whose father didn’t like me (that’s a shocker). He had a problem with long-haired rock musicians who partied too much. We were going hot and heavy when all of a sudden, we broke up. So, I did the logical thing – I left the comfort of Somerville for the unknown San Fernando Valley of California.

I’ll show her – I’ll move 3,000 miles away, and become a Hollywood star. After all, I had my theatre degree from Emerson College! I got an apartment in the same apartment building where my sister was living with her new baby girl – it was great! I lived downstairs from my niece, sister, and brother-in-law. We had a built-in pool, and she cooked for me. That’s when I fell in love with avocados.

Life in Canoga Park was different, but I was getting used to it. I got a job in a head shop (they sold bongs and stuff like that) – a place that sold all sorts of drug paraphernalia. I met Jimi Hendrix’s drummer on the album Band of Gypsies, Mr. Buddy Miles. I met an agent who lived in Sammy Davis Jr’s old house – Sammy had a room the size of my bedroom just for shoes! I think Judy Garland lived there at one time, also.

I also tracked down a couple of Somerville friends out there. You will find Somerville people everywhere you go. I bumped into a guy from my street in Disney World back in the 90s. Forget about Old Orchard Beach, because as I have said before, it’s Somerville with water. So, back to the California adventure. There I am, doing pretty well, enjoying the sun, my sister’s cooking, and a crazy job, and I get a phone call from Somerville. It seems the gal I had broken up with had a sudden change of heart – she wanted me back.

So, I wanted to get back to Somerville as fast as I could. I dumped the job, the apartment with the pool, my sister’s cooking, the weather, and my dreams of becoming a star in Hollywood – and headed home. But being the compulsive thick thick-headed guy that I am, I decided to take a Greyhound bus back to Boston. Why would I wait another week and fly home? I really can’t tell you because I don’t remember. Maybe it was a cash thing. I think I just wanted to get back and wasn’t in a clear mind.

At any rate, I’m on a bus for five days. I hooked up with some other passengers on the way home who were quite the partiers. We all got tossed off the bus in Albuquerque, New Mexico. We had to wait six hours for the next bus. The really tough part about being on a bus for five days is personal hygiene. I got really good at washing my feet in the restroom sinks. I was one of the lucky ones who had plenty of clean socks.

I wish I had some Febreze and Lysol spray, because I would have sprayed a few passengers. When you’re on a long bus ride, you make friends with people, and then one by one, they get off at their destinations. I must say it was pretty emotional saying goodbye to friends you spent 2, 3, and 4 days with in such close conditions. We all took each other’s phone numbers. I never heard from any of them ever again.

So, I finally made it home to good old Somerville! I’ll never forget the first time I went back into my girlfriend’s house since returning. Her dad gave me the usual protective, smile-less, “I hate you” stern father’s sneer. What her uncle said made me feel very comfortable – he looks at me and says: “Don’t tell me you’re back again.” And he wasn’t fooling.

Yes, it was great to be home. What’s so great about California? The heck with the built-in pool, the freedom of my own pad, the cool job, the awesome weather, the fun of being with my sister and her baby. I was finally back with the love of my life. WRONG! The rekindled romance went down in flames. But hey, I had gained a lot! I got to move back into my little room on Hall Avenue with the psychedelic wallpaper and listen to my dad snore while I was trying to watch TV.

I was back to helping mom with housework too. I had gone from Mr. Independent to Mr. Loser, who moves back in with his parents. I recovered and was soon playing in another band, and would soon start my radio career at Kiss 108 FM. I was back in Somerville and back with my buds and the fam. You can always go home when you live in Somerville. My friends were still on the same bar stools they were on when I left, so I didn’t miss a beat.

But I will never take a five-day bus ride again. Oh, and there were a few other women since then who had me jumping through hoops. Someday, I’ll tell you about the boy from Somerville who moved to Florida for a year with a girl. So, I will never again hop on a bus, Gus, unless it’s to visit my friend in Jersey, or if my truck breaks down.